


To See

by SophisticatedRaptor



Category: Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, Germany is Ludwig Beilschmidt, Glaucoma, Hetalia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lovino Vargas - Freeform, M/M, Mention of Death, Minor Character Death, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Rare Pairings, eyesight issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:56:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophisticatedRaptor/pseuds/SophisticatedRaptor
Summary: Lovino is losing something precious to him. A night at a mellow bar seems to offer him a small sense of comfort. However, unexpected company appears, and perhaps Lovino just needs to give him a chance.Warnings: Slight OOC, mild language, strong language has been 'censored.'(May be continued? Was written as a stand alone.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!  
> First fic I've posted here. Platonic Germano, woot.  
> Slight warnings apply here as well...  
> Slight OOC (I tried to stay in character as best as possible)  
> Reference to a minor side character's death
> 
> Written as a stand alone, but I might continue.

The menu was blurry, but by this time in his life, Lovino didn’t need the words. He just ordered a shot of the strongest substance the bartender carried. Of course it burned on the way down and-- hell, it hurt-- but Lovino couldn’t bring himself to care as he asked for another. The bartender had raised an eyebrow, and a look of uncertainty had crossed his face. Lovino, after all, was not a large man and didn’t look like someone who could hold his alcohol that well, but nonetheless, the bartender hesitantly poured him another shot. After all, the guy just looked dejected and seemed like he needed the strong drink. It didn’t stop the grimace on the tender’s face as Lovino quickly downed it again. Considering that he didn’t ask for another, the bartender went on checking stock and cleaning glasses as the music played through the well-lit bar.

Lovino just sat and stared at the blurry bottles of alcohol behind the bar, enjoying the painful burn still playing in his throat. It brought attention away from the reason he was here, but every time he looked somewhere else and saw the blurry edges of bottles and glasses it was a painful reminder which outweighed the burn in his throat. He might have been foul-mouthed, stubborn, and upset, but he wasn’t an idiot. He waved down the bartender for a glass of water. Why hurt anything else of his when he was already losing something so precious to him?

Alone he sat, sipping lightly at his water, staring at nothing in particular. He would’ve closed his eyes as he delved into a thinking session, but he wanted to take in everything he could before that was no longer an option for him. Figures this would happen to him out of everyone. He had never been the lucky one-- that was reserved for his brother. The little bastard. Lovino couldn’t understand it when they were younger, and he didn’t really understand it now. It had always been the Plight of Lovino, to be underappreciated and unlucky in comparison to Feliciano (or anyone, really, even that godforsaken Antonio) when it came to life. His little brother was just better at everything. On top of that, he was actually pleasant to hang around and didn’t snap at people. He was always happy. Lovino… Lovino had his reputation as being angry and aggressive. In other words-- bitchy. Although, Lovino loved his brother dearly and if it came down to the choice, he would have volunteered to take this burden anyway. Although, this wasn’t voluntary and it seemed as if life either made it’s guess that Lovino would’ve stepped up or it just wanted to make his life more miserable. 

Life’s a bastard, either way.

Enveloped in his own world of thought, Lovino didn’t hear the door of the bar open and he barely registered someone sitting next to him, let alone the fantastic idea that the sir could have sitten _literally anywhere else_ because there were more than enough seats to put five in between them.

Bastard.

Lovino thought he smelled a familiar scent of some sort of cologne, but thought nothing of it until he heard the man next to him call something out to the bartender. Lovino knew that deep voice and rough accent; it was difficult to forget.

_Oh hell no._

Lovino bristled a bit, but refused to acknowledge his presence. With eyebrows furrowed, he raised the glass of water to his lips. He could feel those icy blue eyes stare at him. A clearing of a throat.

_No._

“Lovino.”

Lovino swallowed and stared down at the wooden bartop. “Macho patata.”

The bartender placed a beer bottle in front of the blond man, and all but scurried away as he felt the rising hostility coming from Lovino.

Smart man.

“Lovino, it’s just us right now. Ludwig is appreciated.” The man said as he lifted the bottle.

Lovino sneered, “Tch. When have I ever called you by your first name?”

“Or last name, for that matter,” Ludwig mumbled into his bottle.

Lovino took a huge gulp of his water. “What do you want, Tedesco?”

“I’m just here to relax and talk, _Italienisch._ ” Ludwig responded in the same manner.

It had caught Lovino by surprise, actually. ‘Snippy’ wasn’t how Ludwig normally talked to people. Once again, Lovino was stubborn and upset, but he was not an idiot. He said nothing.

There was an awkward silence that enveloped the two as they sipped their respective drinks, and Lovino found his mind wandering again, attempting to forget his predicament. That however, proved ineffective as it turns out that that was all he could think about. He was still out of it, but once again felt the blue eyes looking at him.

“What are you thinking about?” Ludwig asked casually.

Tch. Like he had the right to know. It was none of his business to know what Lovino was thinking, and the brunette told him as much.

“I’m just trying to be social with you. Is that honestly so hard?” Ludwig irritatedly spoke.

“I guess so. Don’t take it personally, it happens to everyone.” Lovino actually glanced at Ludwig’s slightly blurry face for once, “Actually, do take it personally. I don’t care.”

Lovino knew he had irritated Ludwig, and he didn’t expect him to be here much longer. And honestly, if the blondie wouldn’t leave, there was nothing stopping him from leaving. Except for the fact that he was here first. And Lovino is a strong believer in the ‘I got here first’ philosophy.

An audible sigh came from his left. “Alright then.”

Ludwig shifted in his seat, and Lovino was happy that he was finally leaving. Too bad the taller man was only shifting in his seat to lean forward onto the bar and gaining a more comfortable position.

“Looks like we’ll be here for a little while longer.” Ludwig said. He tried to offer an awkward smile. “Can I buy you a beer?”

Lovino inhaled. 

Lovino exhaled.

Lovino almost stabbed himself with a spoon.

Lovino calmed himself down enough to respond.

“I don’t want your rotten wheat.”

Ludwig chuckled. That’s a first. Lovino always thought the man had a stick shoved up his--

“You’re surprisingly calm right now, you know. I’m used to you being so much more temperamental. I came in here prepared to be beaten with a stool.” Ludwig took another swig of his beer.

Lovino sighed. This man wasn’t going anywhere. Besides, if he did hurt Ludwig, he’d never hear the end of it from Feli. How Feli and Ludwig were best friends made no sense to him.

“I don’t have the spirit right now to do so,” Lovino mumbled.

“Of course you don’t. You have water.” Ludwig looked at his bottle as he drank from it again.

The only think Lovino could do was turn his head and and gawk in a mixture of confusion and shock.

Had Ludwig just joked?

Ludwig had told a joke.

A frikin terrible joke, but a joke nonetheless.

“You’re… you’re joking,” Lovino said, not quite getting across what he wanted to say, so he decided to restate, “you’re… kidding, right now. You’re telling a f***ing terrible joke at a time like this.”

Ludwig looked down at the bartop and nodded. “Ja.”

Lovino sighed. “So you joke now,” he glanced sideways towards the fuzzy figure, “I honestly thought you had no clue what humor even was.”

Ludwig’s mouth quirked up. “I’m learning.”

“...and you smile now too.” Lovino furrowed his brow.

“You only have seen me in my working mood. After a day of work, I do actually like to relax like any other human would,” The blond explained.

“Hm. Yeah, you and your fancy… whatever it is you do.” 

“I’m a chief executive of a company, Lovino.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“I’ve mentioned this a few times in your presence.”

“It’s not like I was paying attention. You weren’t talking to me.”

“I guess I thought that you would just pick some things up.”

“Like you do the same. I bet you can’t even tell me what I do for a living.”

“You’re a grocer. Something like that, at least.”

“How in the hell--”

“You’ve mentioned in passing about how much you hate working in customer service and how dumb the people you train have to be to not be able to use a cash register.” Ludwig stole a glance at Lovino. “I pieced things together.”

Lovino responded with narrowed eyes. It did little to clear things up in his eyesight. The numbing feeling he had almost forgotten about started to act up again.

“That, and I’ve actually seen you working there.” Ludwig added with a sly grin.

“You’re terrible, you know.” Lovino said, glumly staring at his water glass.

Even with the distraction of the man that got on his nerves (really for no particular reason other than just because), the Italian still couldn’t get his mind off of the biggest obstacle in his life. He had tried this night, but every time he would look somewhere, Ludwig or behind the bar, even his cup, the blurry outline everything had and the fuzzy resolution of his eyesight made it impossible for him to forget.

Ludwig was now staring at him, he knew, but he honestly didn’t have and spirit to snap at him or to be his normal aggressive self. He knew the man next to him had picked it up by now. He had known before he even accused Ludwig of not being as sharp as the man expected him to be. If observant was sharp, then Ludwig was a brand new Damascus sword.

Silence enveloped them. 

“Lovino,”

_Don’t you dare. Don’t you speak._

“Feliciano told me.”

_Dammit._

“It has to be hard; I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” Lovino mumbled, head hanging low.

“I understand what it’s like to lose something precious.”

“Tch.”

“I’m serious. I know that it’s killing you inside, and that’s why the fight in you seems to be gone.”

“Glaucoma. I’m losing my sight. My family can’t afford the kind of surgery it’ll take to fix this. I work in a grocery store for goodness sake! I’m going blind and you,” Lovino turned his head further away from Ludwig, “you sit here and tell me that you know what it’s like. Mr. Success-Story from a wealthy family,” Lovino turned a deadly glare towards the blond. “You know nothing.”

Ludwig’s eyes narrowed in a sad gesture. “I said I lost something precious. I never said it was anything regarding to my own body. So technically, I don’t know what exactly you’re going through, but I can understand a lot of the pain you’re feeling.”

“Heh, what, did the rich boy’s favorite show dog die?” Lovino venomously spat.

“No,” Ludwig replied. 

“Hmph.” Lovino drank the remainder of his water.

“I lost my brother a few years ago.”

Well _now_ Lovino felt like a prick. What the hell do you say to that?

“I-- uh,” an awkward clearing of a throat came from Lovino. “I didn’t know about that, I uh--”

“It’s alright.” Ludwig interrupted him. “It happened a long time ago and I’ve had time to heal from it. But I just wanted to offer someone who understands-- even just a little bit-- of what you’re going through right now. Different scenarios offer our different reasons to be upset, but pain is pain.”

Ludwig turned his head back over to the Italian next to him. Lovino avoided eye contact by keeping his head facing forward.

“When Gilbert died, I never knew if I’d come back from it. It hurt me very badly and if I’m being honest,” a large hand softly placed itself over the left side of Ludwig’s chest, “it still hurts from time to time.”

Still more silence. Lovi was a prick, true, but it’s not like he didn’t hate it when he actually insulted someone over a serious topic.

“I know that there’s more where that came from too, Lovino. It’s not just the fact that you’ve somehow developed glaucoma. I know you have some issues with your family and more importantly… yourself.” 

“Yeah right,” Lovino murmured.

Ludwig finished off his beer and his tone of voice suddenly perked up.

“Tell you what,” Ludwig reached back and took out his wallet. “Since you didn’t take that beer I offered to buy for you, I’ll get you something else.” 

Ludwig called over the bartender and paid off his tab-- and Lovino’s.

“I could’ve gotten that myself. I’m not completely helpless when it comes to paying for things. But I guess now I don’t have to pay for that awful… whatever it was, so thanks, I guess.”

“Excuse me sir,” Ludwig called back the bartender, “do you have a pen?” 

The bartender nodded and went off to fetch a pen. Ludwig nodded and took it.

“Danke.”

Ludwig turned back to Lovino and pulled out a business card. Lovino looked at it skeptically. 

“It’s not like I’m gonna call you to talk about my problems and vice versa. We’re not schoolgirls, patata.”

Ludwig paid no attention to Lovino as he started to write on the back of the card. “Paying for your tab wasn’t what I was talking about.”

He handed the card to Lovino when he was done.

“Fran--ciiis Bonne-- Bonnef--oy?” Lovino’s mouth curled up a little in confusion. He looked up at Ludwig. “Who is he?”

“He was one of my brother’s best friends. It just so happens that he’s also a skilled ophthalmologist.” Ludwig said.

“What the hell is an ophthalmologist?” Lovino asked.

Ludwig gave off a small grin. “He performs eye surgeries.”

Lovino sputtered, “W-what? H-how is this supposed to help? He might be skilled but that just means _more money!_ Money that neither my family or I possess! Are you _kidding me?”_

“The surgery is already paid for. You can thank the person on the front side of the card.” Ludwig said nonchalantly.

Lovino, already knowing who it was going to be, still turned the card over and could make out Ludwig’s name. He still couldn’t help looking up at Ludwig in shock and surprise.

“But this--”

“--is important. I can’t sit by and let someone close to my life go blind if I can help it. I have the resources.”

“I have no clue how or why you and Feliciano are best friends, but I’m _really f***ing glad you are.”_

Ludwig chuckled. “I didn’t do this because Feliciano is my best friend. You’re important too.” 

And for the first time, Lovino thought that Ludwig was actually a pretty decent guy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accompanying poem.  
> Not its original format, as there were some line breaks here and there that made the poem flow in the way I wanted it to, but I'm tired at the time of upload and don't feel like changing it too much... just some minor tweaks.

_All your life you are the unlucky bastard_

_The one that Life chose to pick on  
The one that can never catch a break_

_So it’s no surprise that despite your best efforts in this life_  
_Although you try to make the best of things_  
_Although you know you deserve better than this_  
_Life comes to bully you once again_

_The pain of rejection and “second-best” isn’t enough for Life  
Because now it wants to start taking precious things from you_

_And it’s unclear what is more painful for Life to take...  
The small things you take for granted or the big things that still might go on for granted_

_Both unknown to be so precious until they are taken away._


End file.
